We know you’ve been waiting patiently for the next installment of Tacky Merchandise. This month’s edition is all about Ghosts. Ghostly things can be cool, cute and cuddly which we of course cannot find tacky, so this was a scavenger hunt to say the least. Without further yapping, here is OBS’s Tacky Merchandise Ghosts Edition.
CASPER THE FRIENDLY GHOST EARRINGS
Something about ghoulish and gold don’t really mix. Maybe if it didn’t have the tacky gold overlay around its edges and maybe if it didn’t have the morbid RIP headstones attached it could be considered cute. But for the reasons aforementioned it has turned into a something quite tacky indeed. I deem it wearable for Christmas Sweater Set (see Hand Beaded Ghost necklace for details).
GHOST GLITTER MAKE-UP
Girls obsess over bright, rich, colorful and fun cosmetics-but have you ever thought of the basics? Ghost is 100% matte, perfect white that is almost essential in getting a perfect color blend.
Sure it’s cool to wear some ghostly glitter, but giiiirrrl, the marketing is way off. Couldn’t they have found a better way to photograph this without it look like a heaping help of, well, nose candy? Take advice from MAC marketing, photograph the whole glitter pot, not just the powder. Not only cheap and tacky but quite confusing enough to get yourself in a heap of trouble.
PACMAN INKY GHOST CROCHET HAT
A for effort, but T for Tacky. Nothing says “I’m an eternal 12 year old like this googly-eyed crochet concoction. Are you looking to keep your head warm or just look ridiculous? Even most 12 year olds would flat our refuse to wear this. Like the eternal saying tells us….Less is more. Ditch the ooooh-I-collect-puffy-stickers-with-googly-eyes look. Stat!
PINKY THE ARCADE GHOST HAT
Not meaning to turn this into a Pacman revival but OMG. No, no, no, no!!!! Take it off. I wouldn’t even model for this item. Poor girl. If your thinking of wearing this to Ascot, just be prepared for some cock-eyed looks. The hats at that event are wild, but not tacky. Your a child of the 80’s….I get it. However your better off sticking to playing old Pacman video games on your out-of-date Atari 2600 console in your basement to show your obvious borderline obsession.
Trying to find a gift for the person who has everything? Have already bought them a little piece of the sky and had their name attached to a star with Star Registery? How about a Ghost? Well for 12 bucks (you cheap bastard!), you can get that special someone their very own ghost. Since they will never actually see their present, your paying for an illusion. Scrap the $12 dollar piece of paper and take them to the movies to see Panormal Activity instead. You don’t see any ghosts in the film either.
If you’re still interested here is the product description:
“Guaranteed you will be impressed with the credentials of the ghost you receive. Be very sure you want to do this as once the adoption papers go in the mail, there is no turning back. What you will receive is the official cover letter with the official haunted seal (see photo) and stapled to that the description and instructions for your ghost. Also included is a small personal object from the ghost that will help make this connection. Just set it on a table or shelf and leave it there”.
Sounds like if you change your mind the ghost will probably turn all Exorcist on your ass, so order with caution.
HAND BEADED GHOST NECKLACE
This is without a doubt an item for the Christmas Sweater Wearing set, that must wear clothing and accessories to prove they are in the holiday spirit. I just….ugh. Get rid of the ghost and it’s not that bad. But for $40…the ghost absolutely ruins it. Not to mention it looks like a Shrinky Dink.
GHOST POOPIE HUMOROUS GREETING CARD
The product description states “The life of these cards can go on and on. Put them in a little frame and sit them on your shelf or desk, stick them on your fridge or tape them to your office door…you get the idea. Spread the joy.”
Just what I want to be reminded of when I look in the fridge for a bite….Poop! Thanks for the placement idea. Just like every other poop related product one gets…this will make you chuckle once and be banished to a drawer, forever. Save the $3.50 plus shipping costs.
Cemeteries conjur up ghosts, so I thought this a fitting entry into this edition of Tacky Merchandise. A photograph of a headstone. Why on earth would anyone want to buy this for $10? Go out and take your own. At least you’ll have a photo with a epitaph, which in turn makes the photo more interesting. Unless your really into morbid items, it’s tacky. No offense.
PATRICK SWAYZE GHOST PENDANT
Straight up no! It borders on art imitating life, due to the fact that Mr. Swayze is sadly no longer with us. For this, it borders on tacky and punny. Instead buy the DVD. If you agree with me, just say “Ditto”.
We hope you enjoyed this edition of Tacky Merchandise. Last month our edition was themed after Lost, if you haven’t seen it, go check it out here. You can also leave us comments on what theme you would like to see on Tacky Merchandise. Ideas are always welcome.