This month OpenBook Society is bringing you a Tacky Merchandise Edition that is out of this world…with ALIENS!
Brought to you by OBS Staff member Rose.
FOUR GIANT 63 INCH INFLATE ALIEN
If your out-of-this-world kinky (and tacky) and are in need of a cheap blow-up doll…this giant alien inflatable is just for you. Why spend hundreds of dollars on the real-life dolls? Aliens need love too. And you can give it to four of them for $25.
ALIEN SHOWER CURTAIN
Just what every adult needs…an alien shower curtain. Don’t you know it’s vampire and werewolf season, not alien season. Or…..maybe you want your new blow-up alien companion to feel at home and see another familiar face. Only then…it’s okay. Otherwise…it’s tacky.
COIN COPPER ROSWELL NM 50TH ALIEN UFO ANNIVERSARY
Didn’t have enough money for that planned Winnebago trip to Roswell? Make believe you went and show everyone your Copper Roswell coin. Why else would you want to buy this cheap and tacky item? Oh yea….to show your new inflatable alien girlfriends your hip. I forgot.
ALIEN SPACESHIP WHISTLE
Is this like a dog whistle…where only alien’s can hear it? Now that would be something. Otherwise, all it is, is a cheap, yet not so cheap piece of plastic… for $20 dollars!!!
1/35 PART ASSEMBLED HALCYON ALIENS APC SCI-FI TANK
Product Description: This is a partially assembled 4 wheeled APC from the film Aliens. Produced by Halcyon in the ’80s it is long out of production. The main body and the sub-assemblies are built, filled and sanded. A few additional pieces from the spares box have been attached. The model has been dry assembled for the pictures, the wheels and the two turrets are not glued in place. This model only requires final assembly and painting. All parts are complete with several detail parts still on their sprues. Also included are the box, instruction sheet and the minimal decal sheet.
There’s two ways to acquire such an item. First, it is unopened and sealed, preserved in all its antiquity and will be saved as such, for prosperity. Isn’t that how it’s value stays intact?
Second…ok it’s opened, but it’s unassembled. This gives YOU the purchaser, the pleasure of spending your Sundays putting it together, hence there is some ROI. Time well spent.
However, a partially assembled unit is just plain TACKY!!!
FAROUT ALIEN PEACE SIGN EMBRODIERED PATCH
Haven’t we learned aliens never come in peace. This patch is so outdated it’s unbelievable. Keep smoking the wacky tobacky and believe aliens come to share their worldly knowledge with us. Take note from Independence Day, The Day The Earth Stood Still and V the TV show….Aliens are NOT peaceful. It’s not the 60’s anymore. Lay off the Peace Pipe!
ALIEN DRIVERS LICENSE AREA 51 PERMIT
Wanna buy a beer but your underage? Flash em your Alien Drivers License. They couldn’t possibly deny you a cold one, since your…what?….300 light years old. Maybe they won’t notice your license says your orange (hey I thought aliens were green!), have a bulbous head and stand only 3 feet tall. Hey, for only $3 bucks it’s worth a try, no?
SPACESHIP…YES A SPACESHIP
We saved the best for last.
The ultimate in travel. Since you have your alien license, you can obviously drive this thing and not get a ticket.
Sellers Description: This space ship is in excellent condition! Only 300 million Intergalactic miles, 4 passenger, no meteor dents, possibly needs reactor seals and recharged flux capacitor, 1 owner. Still have the original owners manual. Does have a wobble issue at Mach 12 but clears once it hits 15. Complete with bubble glass windows! Never crashed! For sale $3500 OBO.
Screw traveling Virgin Galactic’s airways. Why deal with the intergalactic hussle and bussle. This is ultimate in private space travel. Oil can and crash helmet not included.