Gone, Gone, Gone

True Blood Season 5, Episode 10

Brought to you by OBS reviewer Heidi

All five True Blood factories have now been destroyed and the new spokesperson for the vampire league, Steve Newlin, is on TV telling everyone not to worry and to go about their business as normal as most vampires have a back-up supply of the drink and that humans have nothing to fear.

Sam and Luna are anxiously looking for Emma and see one of Steve’s appearances and fly there only to find that he doesn’t have Emma with him.  They stow away in his bag as a couple of mice.  When he gets home Emma is in her human form and Steve is yelling at her that he doesn’t like her as a human.

Sookie is hanging around her house and Mike Spencer shows up at her door.  She invites him in not knowing that he’s been turned into a vampire.  He starts to feed on her and she stakes him with some chop sticks that were in her Chinese takeout bag.  Andy reports to the scene noting that it was the exact kind of scene that Mike would have loved.

Sookie and Jason work together to figure out what Gran meant about the clue to who killed their parents.  Jason discovers a hidey hole in the floor under Sookie’s bed that contains a document done in hieroglyphics.  They take it to a place to be interpreted, but nobody can read it.  So they then take it to the fairies and one of the older fairies (The fairy Andy slept with, who is obviously pregnant) interprets it with the help of magic.  The document is a contract promising the first born daughter of fairy blood in the family to Warlow, of course that would be Sookie.

The authority members kill the girl that invented the I-stake and kill her with her own weapon no less because she does not accept Lilith as God.  Bill and Nora then force Eric to drink the blood of Lilith against his will as a way of converting him so that he can be saved.  He then apologizes to the other authority members and even tells Russell that he forgives him for killing his entire family and that they should lay down their swords as Lilith wishes.  Russell agrees, but tells Eric he (Eric)got the better end of the bargain.

Then, Russell starts talking about how the vampires need to own the day as well and starts talking about how they can walk in the sun.  The others disagree and he informs them that he is 3 thousand years old as is not their lap dog.

Hoyt has decided to leave town and take a job in Alaska.  He has Jessica and Jason meet him at Merlotte’s and asks Jessica to glamour him so that he doesn’t remember her or Jason so that he can be happy.  She reluctantly does as he wishes.  Later that evening Sookie and Jason are driving down the road in Jason’s police car and they see Hoyt driving.  He pulls Hoyt over and Jason realizes that Hoyt really doesn’t remember him.  He goes back to the car and Sookie holds him as he cries.

Bill sends a security team to bring Jessica to the authority headquarters.  She refuses to go until Bill commands her (via the phone) as her maker to go with them.  Once she arrives, he tells her about the vampire Bible and how it’s changed him.

The new sheriff of Area 5, Elijah, tells Pam that Fangtastia isn’t making enough money and also that each area has now been instructed to make 30 new vampires a year and if she doesn’t make it happen he can take all of her possessions including Tara.  Pam later tells Tara that the bar means nothing to her and they could leave.  But Tara has other ideas.  She works with Ginger and stages that she thinks she fed too long and killed Ginger.  She calls Elijah to help and when he bends down to check on Ginger, she stabs him in the shoulder and then Tara kills him by decapitating him.  Pam shows up directly after.

I really didn’t think this episode was very good.  There was no Alcide, Arlene, or Terry.  So far the hunt for Emma has gone relatively smoothly.  The authority stuff bores me to tears and I can’t wait for the real Eric to emerge and get the hell out of there!!  Who cares if he saves Bill or not?  So now of course Russell and this Warlow are both going to be after Sookie…big surprise!  And just how is this pregnant storyline going to factor in?  Oh and I’m sure Tara or Pam will have some kind of punishment for Tara killing Elijah…I mean that is how Jessica became a vampire after all.

This is True Blood right??  We’re in episode 10 and there still has hardly been any sex…I think my 12 year old could probably watch most of this season…like she always begs to be able to do.  I’m really finding this season to be quite the disappointment!